"The swift abortion of Hoheisel's brainchild" is NOT good word politics for an essay that holds 33% of your final grade.

Never bank on the marker's atheism.

God DAMN the '30 Days of Night' adaptation better be fucking good.

i'm soo ridiculously drunk it's taken me forever to type this.

i've logged in as rowbeytyrobw, doenbrutydpwn,and downbeutydowm before i logged in correctly;

fucking putple tutrle, i blame you.

Dear American "Footballers",

This is why rugby players are ten times more hardcore than you.

With love,
The Rugby League
and the Rugby Union.

It's obvious that elljay is low on my priority list when I save the bookmark in my 'time wasters' folder. Then again, Wajas is in there and if I could marry Wajas I would. *moves to 'social life eater' folder*

The new term can't come quickly enough - I'M RIDICULOUSLY BORED. Although the t20 finals is amusing. Go Pakistan.

I just joined a group of facebook called 'If Stephen Fry says it then it must be true' because it's TRUE.

After showing magnet_dragon the awesomeness of Withnail & I I felt the need for icons. So here, taste.

Because obviously I <3 that font.

You know when your student party is amazing when instead of getting drunk and trashing your house, you get drunk and paint each others faces.

And even the boys join in.

And nobody thinks it's weird.

SUCH a good party.

Ugh my WW books FINALLY came today and now I'm staring at a stack of texts I'm never, ever going to be able to read before term starts. I've only just got through the second one. I love your dedication to the right of women Wollstonecraft, but your prose makes haaaaaaaaard reading.

Reading List:
Aphra Behn, The Rover -- I'm like halfway through this so it counts for a strikeout, damnit.
Charlotte Lennox, The Female Quixote
Elaine Showalter, A Literature of Their Own
Mary Wollstonecraft, Vindication of the Rights of Women -- I got the gist of it in Upper 6th but I need to read it properly this time.
Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility -- for like the millionth time. The movie is sooo good.
Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre -- I've read it before, I know it already. Not reading it another damn time.
Christina Rossetti, Goblin Market
Charlotte Perkins Gilman, The Yellow Wallpaper

"And James would... do whatever Jameses do when they lose wars, babies and loves."

I'M A HORRIBLE BRAIN MOTHER D:

On a related note, I'm doing the Sanderson family tree with a bit of the DuMoyen. The complication and convolution is killing my brain.

You know what I love? Not reading your communities on your friends page for aaaaages and then having a lovely backlog of deviantartsnark and badtattoos_4 to sift through. God I love bitchy, bannable communities full of..bitches.

Also thanks be to magnet_dragon for my hug. :3

My summer's wank, I really do need to earn some money. By the end of this month I need

£325

rent

eat

kidneys hurt

magical potion

She Feels A Bit : drained

I haven't posted a tattoo picture here, have I? ( Let's share. )

Wajas downtime makes me sad. I have gen ones to stalk!
Also, regard the icon. Love it. I can't remember where I got it from, so if anyone knows who the maker is...

You know what’s really good for inspiring short-story ideas? Pick Me Up. Best 66p ever spent. “Trapped By My Daughter’s Vampire Lover” and “Naked and Shrink Wrapped – But Why?” never fails to inspire.

So when I first moved in to my new house I noticed there were a few ants crawling along the skirting board below the radiator. For some reason I didn’t think much of it then, so I whipped out the vacuum cleaner and sucked them up. (Little did I realise at the time that these were the scout troops.)
This happened a few times with only three or four ants appearing at a time util one day I noticed a whole line of the little devils invading my carpet and heading towards my beloved bed. Putting the vacuum on full blast I waged war, scooping up platoons upon platoons of trooping ants. They put up a good fight but the dustbuster prevailed. Until… until, I looked behind the radiator and discovered the reserve army.
You know when there’s a battle and your army has all but nearly destroyed the opposition, and then suddenly a whole new load of blues crest the hill and you look certain to be doomed?
I couldn’t hoover them up, they were safely ensconced behind my radiator. Desperate times and all that – I had to come up with a new plan.
Briefly retreating in to the kitchen I bundled up all the caustic, eye-burning bleaches and detergents I could find and dumped their contents in to a saucepan. After giving it a good mixing I put it in to an empty squirt bottle and marched back in to my bedroom to reclaim my radiator.
In short, it was carnage. I think it was the Cillit Bang in the mix. It’s one of those environmentally-challenging products that you can’t put in lakes and ponds because all the fish go belly-up. I could practically hear the sizzling as I doused the wall with a heavy stream of bleach.
I probably shouldn’t have used it on the flying ants in the window though. My double-glazing has turned to frosted glass. Again, I think it was the Cillit Bang. And my carpet under the radiator has gone pink instead of beige, but hey. At least I vanquished the ants.

I'll post a really decent, funny blog post when I get home. I've got some stories to share, including how I totally vanquished the ant kingdom behind my radiator with Cillit Bang.

Q: It's called "Who's the Bitch?" It goes like this. Maximum-security prison. Shared cell: Lucius Malfoy and Captain Hook. Who's the bitch?

A: What do you think went on in the public schools? The captain's an old Estonian. He wouldn't be allowed to have a hook, so he'd only have his one hand to protect himself. Oh, no. Lucius would win. Lucius has got magic. With one wave of his wrist, he'd conjure up a whole army of thugs.

Q: OK. Shared cell: Lucius Malfoy and Col. Tavington. Who's the bitch?

A: Tavington would have Lucius for breakfast. Skin him alive and hang him.

Q: Col. Tavington and Michael Caffee?

A: Ooh. I don't know. Obviously, Tavington's slightly better with a sword than Michael Caffee would be. He's had a bit more training. Tavington, after all, is aristocracy. Michael's had a bit more street fighting. If we're talking no weapons, well, Tavington is more evil in his head, but in a cell, with nothing on hand to use, Michael's got the edge on him when it comes to hand-to-hand combat.

Q: Fair enough. Now Michael's put in a cell with you. Who's the bitch?

A: I'm the least tough character you'll ever see in your life. It's amazing that I play all these tough people. It's bizarre to me that I fight onscreen. Slap me and I'm on the floor in a pool of my own vomit and tears. I used to go to youth clubs and spar, and I was pretty good at it until someone hit me. You know how some people have a glass jaw? I have a glass nose. Touch my nose and it breaks.

Well. I almost want to delete the past - ooh, let's say approximately - ten posts in this journal due to acute bitterness but then that would probably halve its contents. :3 I know, I haven't been very prolific.

Hey ho, you love and learn. Now on to less depressing matters:

a) New Harry Potter film.
Well. Don't worry flist, I'm not about to spoil you. I just want to say it's great but unsurprisingly enough it makes light work of OotP's mahoosive plot and so unfortunately certain bits don't get justice done to them. But GOOD GRACIOUS the last third in the Ministry is STUPENDOUS. I mean, so fucking good.
The wand battles between the adults are for HP film fans what the Phantom Menace 'duel of the fates' lightsabre fight was to SW fans. So. Totally. Kickass.

b)N.A. fail
Dude, it wasn't me I swear.

c)Writing
I've been accepted to start a rather awesome creative writing module at uni next term. There was only nine places a term so I'm pretty fucking chuffed. Now I've got to actually write things. My choices are between Sons of Cain, the Sanderson story or Darren de Ronda's Stellascape story. Hmmmmm. Two sci-fi and one historical drama-llama. Hmmmm hmmm hmmmmmmmmm.

Thoughts plz for all of the above?

OKAY LIVEJOURNAL? CHILL THE FUCK OUT. TOKE A JOKE AND GET OVER YOURSELVES.

Stop raping PotC3, it hurts.

And 6A? You're to blame as well! Jesus Louise Christ.

Will BOTH OF YOU PLEASE SIT DOWN.