looks reality in the face and licks it

trippy

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 19:50:44 GMT

www.bbc.co.uk/signsoflife/widget

Note to self

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 15:25:34 GMT

"The swift abortion of Hoheisel's brainchild" is NOT good word politics for an essay that holds 33% of your final grade.

Never bank on the marker's atheism.

Speculation

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 21:12:46 GMT

God DAMN the '30 Days of Night' adaptation better be fucking good.

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 04:07:41 GMT

i'm soo ridiculously drunk it's taken me forever to type this.

i've logged in as rowbeytyrobw, doenbrutydpwn,and downbeutydowm before i logged in correctly;

fucking putple tutrle, i blame you.

An Open Letter

Wed, 26 Sep 2007 17:18:40 GMT

Dear American "Footballers",

This is why rugby players are ten times more hardcore than you.

With love,
The Rugby League
and the Rugby Union.

bored bleugh

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 13:39:01 GMT

It's obvious that elljay is low on my priority list when I save the bookmark in my 'time wasters' folder. Then again, Wajas is in there and if I could marry Wajas I would. *moves to 'social life eater' folder*

The new term can't come quickly enough - I'M RIDICULOUSLY BORED. Although the t20 finals is amusing. Go Pakistan.

I just joined a group of facebook called 'If Stephen Fry says it then it must be true' because it's TRUE.

mmmm icons a la me

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 14:39:50 GMT

After showing magnet_dragon the awesomeness of Withnail & I I felt the need for icons. So here, taste.

Because obviously I <3 that font.

B's 20th birthday

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 19:00:29 GMT

You know when your student party is amazing when instead of getting drunk and trashing your house, you get drunk and paint each others faces.

And even the boys join in.

And nobody thinks it's weird.

SUCH a good party.

panicky skim reading

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 11:13:51 GMT

Ugh my WW books FINALLY came today and now I'm staring at a stack of texts I'm never, ever going to be able to read before term starts. I've only just got through the second one. I love your dedication to the right of women Wollstonecraft, but your prose makes haaaaaaaaard reading.

Reading List:
Aphra Behn, The Rover -- I'm like halfway through this so it counts for a strikeout, damnit.
Charlotte Lennox, The Female Quixote
Elaine Showalter, A Literature of Their Own
Mary Wollstonecraft, Vindication of the Rights of Women -- I got the gist of it in Upper 6th but I need to read it properly this time.
Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility -- for like the millionth time. The movie is sooo good.
Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre -- I've read it before, I know it already. Not reading it another damn time.
Christina Rossetti, Goblin Market
Charlotte Perkins Gilman, The Yellow Wallpaper

A Quote

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 14:00:57 GMT

"And James would... do whatever Jameses do when they lose wars, babies and loves."

I'M A HORRIBLE BRAIN MOTHER D:

On a related note, I'm doing the Sanderson family tree with a bit of the DuMoyen. The complication and convolution is killing my brain.

Mmmmmm backlog

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 22:13:41 GMT

You know what I love? Not reading your communities on your friends page for aaaaages and then having a lovely backlog of deviantartsnark and badtattoos_4 to sift through. God I love bitchy, bannable communities full of..bitches.

Also thanks be to magnet_dragon for my hug. :3

Oh and the festival was good too.

Wed, 05 Sep 2007 11:00:43 GMT

My summer's wank, I really do need to earn some money. By the end of this month I need

£325

for my

rent

. Because I haven't got enough money to

eat

I've retreated back to my family home or some TLC. My

kidneys hurt

but there's nothing I can do about that. Hurry up scientists, find me a

magical potion

. Going to the toilet alarms me to no end.

On the bright side I'm going back to university next month. The thought gives me no end of happiness. What with my lovely shmuggly house mates and my kick ass new professor doing my creative writing course I'm pretty hyped up. Rock on Freshers Week 2: Son of Liver Failure.

You know what's cool? Dad's Army. I've been watching tons of it lately (thanks be to youtube) and my mother is convinced I'm turning in to her father, my grandpa. I wish I had a pension.

Come on, hug time. Feel the love. That's right. Let it all out.

Also, facepainting rocks. I'm thinking of replacing my all make up with Snazzaroo.

tatt

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 23:33:15 GMT

I haven't posted a tattoo picture here, have I?

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 12:42:46 GMT

Wajas downtime makes me sad. I have gen ones to stalk!
Also, regard the icon. Love it. I can't remember where I got it from, so if anyone knows who the maker is...

On Inspiration

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 15:49:12 GMT

You know what’s really good for inspiring short-story ideas? Pick Me Up. Best 66p ever spent. “Trapped By My Daughter’s Vampire Lover” and “Naked and Shrink Wrapped – But Why?” never fails to inspire.

Shaz, Vanquisher of Ants

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 15:48:08 GMT

So when I first moved in to my new house I noticed there were a few ants crawling along the skirting board below the radiator. For some reason I didn’t think much of it then, so I whipped out the vacuum cleaner and sucked them up. (Little did I realise at the time that these were the scout troops.)
This happened a few times with only three or four ants appearing at a time util one day I noticed a whole line of the little devils invading my carpet and heading towards my beloved bed. Putting the vacuum on full blast I waged war, scooping up platoons upon platoons of trooping ants. They put up a good fight but the dustbuster prevailed. Until… until, I looked behind the radiator and discovered the reserve army.
You know when there’s a battle and your army has all but nearly destroyed the opposition, and then suddenly a whole new load of blues crest the hill and you look certain to be doomed?
I couldn’t hoover them up, they were safely ensconced behind my radiator. Desperate times and all that – I had to come up with a new plan.
Briefly retreating in to the kitchen I bundled up all the caustic, eye-burning bleaches and detergents I could find and dumped their contents in to a saucepan. After giving it a good mixing I put it in to an empty squirt bottle and marched back in to my bedroom to reclaim my radiator.
In short, it was carnage. I think it was the Cillit Bang in the mix. It’s one of those environmentally-challenging products that you can’t put in lakes and ponds because all the fish go belly-up. I could practically hear the sizzling as I doused the wall with a heavy stream of bleach.
I probably shouldn’t have used it on the flying ants in the window though. My double-glazing has turned to frosted glass. Again, I think it was the Cillit Bang. And my carpet under the radiator has gone pink instead of beige, but hey. At least I vanquished the ants.

libraries etc.

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 12:28:03 GMT

I'll post a really decent, funny blog post when I get home. I've got some stories to share, including how I totally vanquished the ant kingdom behind my radiator with Cillit Bang.

A question and answer session with Jason Isaacs!

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 11:33:39 GMT

Q: It's called "Who's the Bitch?" It goes like this. Maximum-security prison. Shared cell: Lucius Malfoy and Captain Hook. Who's the bitch?

A: What do you think went on in the public schools? The captain's an old Estonian. He wouldn't be allowed to have a hook, so he'd only have his one hand to protect himself. Oh, no. Lucius would win. Lucius has got magic. With one wave of his wrist, he'd conjure up a whole army of thugs.

Q: OK. Shared cell: Lucius Malfoy and Col. Tavington. Who's the bitch?

A: Tavington would have Lucius for breakfast. Skin him alive and hang him.

Q: Col. Tavington and Michael Caffee?

A: Ooh. I don't know. Obviously, Tavington's slightly better with a sword than Michael Caffee would be. He's had a bit more training. Tavington, after all, is aristocracy. Michael's had a bit more street fighting. If we're talking no weapons, well, Tavington is more evil in his head, but in a cell, with nothing on hand to use, Michael's got the edge on him when it comes to hand-to-hand combat.

Q: Fair enough. Now Michael's put in a cell with you. Who's the bitch?

A: I'm the least tough character you'll ever see in your life. It's amazing that I play all these tough people. It's bizarre to me that I fight onscreen. Slap me and I'm on the floor in a pool of my own vomit and tears. I used to go to youth clubs and spar, and I was pretty good at it until someone hit me. You know how some people have a glass jaw? I have a glass nose. Touch my nose and it breaks.

living on

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 10:21:42 GMT

Well. I almost want to delete the past - ooh, let's say approximately - ten posts in this journal due to acute bitterness but then that would probably halve its contents. :3 I know, I haven't been very prolific.

Hey ho, you love and learn. Now on to less depressing matters:

a) New Harry Potter film.
Well. Don't worry flist, I'm not about to spoil you. I just want to say it's great but unsurprisingly enough it makes light work of OotP's mahoosive plot and so unfortunately certain bits don't get justice done to them. But GOOD GRACIOUS the last third in the Ministry is STUPENDOUS. I mean, so fucking good.
The wand battles between the adults are for HP film fans what the Phantom Menace 'duel of the fates' lightsabre fight was to SW fans. So. Totally. Kickass.

b)N.A. fail
Dude, it wasn't me I swear.

c)Writing
I've been accepted to start a rather awesome creative writing module at uni next term. There was only nine places a term so I'm pretty fucking chuffed. Now I've got to actually write things. My choices are between Sons of Cain, the Sanderson story or Darren de Ronda's Stellascape story. Hmmmmm. Two sci-fi and one historical drama-llama. Hmmmm hmmm hmmmmmmmmm.

Thoughts plz for all of the above?

Thu, 31 May 2007 23:45:36 GMT

OKAY LIVEJOURNAL? CHILL THE FUCK OUT. TOKE A JOKE AND GET OVER YOURSELVES.

Stop raping PotC3, it hurts.

And 6A? You're to blame as well! Jesus Louise Christ.

Will BOTH OF YOU PLEASE SIT DOWN.

do you giggle when I say retard?

Sun, 13 May 2007 20:55:16 GMT

I'm starting to get very pissed off with all this rain. Travelling back from Minehead was a bugger - for some reason M doesn't seem to believe in umbrellas; the bastard bus driver wouldn't let me on the bus while he faffed around with his ticket machine; the bus shelter itself was leaky as fuck; the train carriage leaked too; and I was just generally damp for a good three hours solid. Yeah. Moan bitch moan whine moan.

But yes - I went to Minehead this weekend to be with M. Fuck revision, I say! So what if my first exam's in a week? I had hours of excellent sex instead. When my mum asks me why I failed my first year at university I'll proudly tell her it's because I spent all my money on tattoos instead of books and my time in bed with my boyfriend instead of reading fucking King Lear for the millionth time.

See, I found out the reason why some people don't wear condoms. It's not because they're skanks who don't care about STDs - I certainly DO - but it's because it feels twenty times better without them.
Because really, last night I had the BEST sex ever. Poor 'Smoking Aces' didn't have a chance.

To quote withnail & I: "my thumbs are fucked". Well, one thumb. It's been swollen for a few days and impossible to touch without serious stabbing pain in the tissue for the past week, and now it has a series of bizarre bumps. I can't write, I can't use a knife and fork and I generally look like a retard when I try to button things up.

Oops, I said retard. but I'm sure you giggled, so we're both going to hell together.

hahaha

Tue, 01 May 2007 19:09:34 GMT

My friend walks in to my room at 2pm. I'm lying under the covers, propped up by pillows with my laptop on my lap.

"Ugh, you're so predictable," she says.

It's funny 'cause it's true.

/layzee laydee

all the latest gossip

Tue, 01 May 2007 14:45:31 GMT

Sooooo. Major updates to be told. Let's see:

SO, an elaboration of what I wrote earlier. M and I had broken up at the end of last term as I had said and I'd taken it pretty hard. So over the holiday I had forced myself to get over it, but it wasn't really happening.
So last Friday me and the girls had decided to have a quiet night it with a movie and some pizza. It was the Devil Wear's Prada, it was fun, but I didn't manage to finish it. I got a phone call from M, so I left Rach's room where we had been watching it and went to mine to take it. He asked me how I was, and because we hadn't spoken in a while I started practically telling him my life story. He said to hang on a minute then hung up on me. Thinking he'd ring back in a minute, I started rooting around for my charger. There was a knock at my door - thinking it was my friend coming to see what M had to say on the phone, I said for whoever it was to come in.
Then in walks M with a fistful of roses.
Now, he lives a good 100-odd miles away. I later learned that he'd left around two and got in to Reading at nine. I cried, he said he'd made a terrible mistake and the moral of the story is... well, love conquers all. He said he'd realised over the holiday that what we'd had was everything he'd ever wanted and that he loved me.
I have absolutely no words to describe the shock of it. It was every broken hearted ex-girlfriend's dream scenario. It sounds horribly cliched but my god, I swear I thought I was dreaming. He stayed for the weekend and I spent the entirity of it petrified that it was all a dream.
But it wasn't, and I love him so much.

Unfortunately, on the flip side I've finally been diagnosed with kidney disease. Yeah, IGA Nephropathy, or Berger's disease. I'm having a kidney biopsy in the summer to make it official. I can't be arsed to explain it, but there are plenty of websites about it. I don't really care much, as I think I have an excellent prognosis what with being young, female and with really fucking low blood pressure and I also know all about it seeing as my dad's had it for the past 15 years. I've seen the worse case scenario with him, so hey. I know I'm not as bad as he was.

PS. I have had so much great great sex this weekend. Bounce in my step? Check. Grinning constantly? Check. Glowing skin? Check. Sore as hell and hurts when I sit down? Check, but hey, it's a price I happily pay. :D

quick update!

Sat, 28 Apr 2007 17:09:31 GMT

wow, so much to say not enough time to write - but here's the quick explanation: M turned up at my door with a bunch of roses yesterday and now he's asleep on my bed.

More later.

daemons, kickass

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 21:59:15 GMT

This is so unbelievably awesome. Meet Aradion. Possibly radioactive, I like to think, lul.

http://www.goldencompassmovie.com/?24373 CLICKY PLEASE FILL OUT FOR ME THANKSOO